


NRFB

by cakeisnotpie



Series: Clint and Phil (MCU Avengers Universe) [21]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt, phil is a serious collector
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 18:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1909455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeisnotpie/pseuds/cakeisnotpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NRFB = Never Remove From Box</p>
            </blockquote>





	NRFB

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feathers-n-freckles.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=feathers-n-freckles.tumblr.com).



> written for this prompt: Possessive Phil Coulson

"Did you know Agent Agent plays with dolls?" Tony asked one rainy Thursday afternoon as he poured another cup of coffee. 

Clint sat up straight on the couch, almost knocking over his can of soda. “Oh, shit, Stark. You didn’t touch any of them did you?” 

It had taken six months to even get Coulson to think about moving into the Tower and six more to convince him to set up an office for himself. One of the requirements of him finally taking the suite on the same floor as Clint and Natasha was complete privacy. If Tony had been in Phil’s room, the shit was going to hit the fan.

"Chill, Hood boy. Coulson agreed I could upgrade his security for his ‘collection’ so I had every reason to check it out first." Tony shrugged and pour two creams into his steaming cup. "Never thought I’d find kid’s toys though. Seventeen of Cap’s  plastic smiles staring at me all day would make me paranoid."

"Did. You. Touch. Them?" Clint asked again, thinking furiously about how to hide the evidence. 

"Coulson collects action figures," Bruce offered from his stool at the bar where he was sitting. "Some of them are quite rare. He has a vintage Mego Captain America that’s NRFB; serious value there. Plus, the 2012 Toy Fair Cap and Iron Man Legos. I think those are worth about $2000 nowadays."

"NRFB?" Tony looked confused.

"Never Removed From Box. Makes them worth more," Bruce explained.

"Oh, ah, yeah, like, you’re not supposed to open any of them?" 

"He’s going to kill you, Tony. First, he’ll taze you, then filet little bits off at a time until he can taze you again." Clint was thinking of how fast they could get Tony out of the country, but Phil would find him. 

"Hey, I didn’t touch the Steve figures, okay? That would be kind of … creepy. I just wanted to see the purple outfit you used to wear, man, that’s all." Tony threw up his hands in surrender. "What was up with the tails that looked like a skirt?"

"The tails were made of a kevlar material that protected the dangling soft bits that I’m partial too," Phil said from the doorway. "I’ll give you the mask was a bit odd, but I seem to remember your first suit wasn’t the height of fashion." 

"See?" Tony said to Clint. "Agent’s not angry. I have no idea what you’re worried about."

"Oh, you have no idea what you’ve done." Clint shook his head.

"Indeed," Phil agreed, walking over and catching Tony in a thumb lock by his ear. "Come with me, Stark. We’ll start with a forty-five minute presentation of privacy laws and then you’ll have to watch the whole series of sensitivity training videos all over again. That’s, what? Six hours? Meanwhile I’ll be finding another NRFB Legends Hawkeye figure for you to purchase as well as the new Hot Toys Winter Soldier for the trouble.Then, and only then, will I decide if I’m going to break your fingers or not. Be happy; thieves used to have their whole hands chopped off."

"You’re not seriously going to …" Tony began.

A tazer appeared in Phil’s hand. “Shall we?” 

"Fuck." 

 


End file.
